shit, i cried when i read sheng's then, youkai's entry. i've always tried to make my entries as lighthearted as possible, because to put my feelings down in words and show others my emotional side would make me feel vulnerable,so i try to sound as nonchalant as i can...(really works huh?!?!) haha..
but this morning, i woke up and read sheng's entry and i felt quite touched, and when i started on youkai's entry, i started crying... i was quite surprised at my reaction...i mean, i've never cried at any of the entries so far, so i dont know why... but i couldnt help it, i guess it's true that you never know what you've lost until you've lost it, or something like that. i just.. i dont know, being with a02 yesterday made me realise how my rj class...really sucks. a02 is truly the best class i've ever been in, i love each and everyone of you but ya...i dont regret my decision going rj, of cos, but.. really.. a02 is the best thing that has ever happened to me. i might not show my emotion that openly to you all, but i really do feel alot for this class that i've grown to love, truly love, so much.. i dont know what to say lah. yah. i just love a02.
Yesterday, when I came back... although the class was in a somber mood, i still felt very happy being back with you all. I missed the way you all could make me laugh..and just..all the familiar faces. seeing you on my computer wallpaper is not quite the same as seeing you all in real person.. haha and i miss doing the bak kwa cheer!!!!! nothing beats the feeling i get when doing the bak kwa cheer with you all..
THe dance party revived my memories of the first dance party, the dumb nj "YAAAAAAA!!" thing where everyone would then run towards it and start "yaaa"-ing away. haha. saw familiar faces. it just felt...so...natural to be back. and a corny sentence popped into my head, "this is home, truly, where i know i must be, where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows..." (okay la, the last part not true, i added the river part myself haha!) but yah. it felt like home again.
I still remember the second day at nj, when we were sitting down with our class to be introduced to one another, i just felt damn sian and wondered how we could ever bond together as a class in just three months. I came to nj with the impression that it was a mugger school and damn boring, and I remember that day also, during break, we were eating in utter silence (kind of like how my rj class now spends their breaks everyday...). But it was the first and last day of silence in a02!! haha..
and i remember also, on the bus trip back to nj during cultural mapping on that friday, we were also making up our love stories for our class, eg: brynner and rhoda (cos he kept accusing her as the Mafia), sheng and charlene, (cos they were always together), adrian and shu heng (just for the heck of making up another couple in a02), and yux and vince!!! haha...we kept insisting that vince was in love with yux cos he always looks abit sad whenever we tease her abt hengqing...WAHAHAH. well, at the end of week, I realised how wrong I was to think that nj was damn boring. boring?? with a02 around?!?!
and i remember our badminton sessions too! and sheng the dirty old man saying, "You want my cock?" till today, he insists he was talking about the shuttlecock. ya right ya right...haha. And I'll always remember the poem "The Sick Rose" to my dying day. hahahahahahaha. the whole lit lecture laughing like siao...charmaine and jeff dancing with wild abandon and lustful passion during dance night..haha..all the memories flooding back as I walked around school yesterday..
to linghui: oh yea, haha..you know i actually forgot jx warned me about you?! come, to think of it, it's quite funny.. ahhh, linghui..i really missed your ah-bengness. i miss the way you talk and how you make me laugh..no one in rj talks like you do..!! you never fail to make me laugh with the things you say.. the things that i took forgranted the first three months now seem so precious.
liyana: best actress! i almost forgot your hooligan-ness, how you always scream and whoop for no apparent reason..and the way you make me laugh.. damn you lah! yesterday hug me so tightly...very pain you know!!!!! (just kidding la... but ya, very pain. haha)
shuheng: heyhey! actually i dont miss you that much..haha, i dont know why, but it just felt so natural talking to you yesterday abt the normal usual things like tom tom and all, even though we've been apart for one week, but ya...i dunno, you're like, always there.. =) oh yes, i miss your gummy smile!!! i always laugh when you smile at me.. i just love your gummy smile. i think it's the best smile in the world. haha. love you, gummy heng!
karen and rhoda: Hey Karen!was quite scary seeing you so upset yesterday yah...you're like, our Miss Confident and Self Assured, then to see your eyes all red and puffy..like whoa. dunno what to say. pls stick with your Masterplan, kae? rhoda, you always look veh dao and aloof, but as suzie says, you're one very very lovable individual. when you smile, you light up the heavens!! (just an exaggeration, but ya.)
charlene and steph: you two always sitting at a corner in class and sleeping...haha. steph you sleepy lazy sluggish little puppy, you transform into a sexy devil at night!! you're such a good dancer! charlene..stop giving your heart away to guys who are jerks, kae?
erni and nat: the two mothers of a02! (yux is the mother of all mothers, so shes the grandmama la) your maternal instincts and behaviour are sorely missed.
sophie, shermin, charmaine: sophie, the girl who always eats chicken.. you carnivore! eat some vegetables at least once a week la! you three really shocked me the first week of nj at the dance party, when you were all dancing SO VIGOROUSLY!!! hahaha... never did i expect that three innocent and quiet looking people could be like that!! i can practically hear brynner's leering voice in the background saying, "oh, charmaine, you crazy little animal..." HAHAHA.
judith: the quiet photographer! =)
ruth and christine: you two have really touched me, with your open emotion and all...the hooliganish way ruth speaks always cracks me up, and the way you always get so excited about keefe...it's always so damn funny! there'll never never never be another two like you. i'll always rmb Observation Days. come rj visit me and we can have an exciting Observation Day! haha..
jeffrey! "listen carefully. mary died last night, did she die?" *roll eyes* haha... lame la you. you and your colgate smile, and your barking laughter. lol!!!!
kurt: the ice cream gentleman (unlike sheng...)
adrian: hey a02, adrian has expressed his urgent desire to me that he wants a cheap indonesian wife. help him get one. haha. you're a fella who's always making comments during lessons that never fail to make me LAUGH!!! damn funny guy, you are. take care of a02 ya. be a good boy, stop ponning school!
haoguang: hey! you and your effeminate behaviour..haha.. i rmb once you were shaking your leg in class, then shuheng said, "Wah, haoguang so MAN!!!" you're really funny and hilarious, esp the things you say, and when you always fake-sing the school song and mutter "watermelon watermelon" on the days that the choir has to sing..
brynner: one person who's always making the whole class bellow in laughter.. you've left a "Whatever" legacy in nj. =)
sheng: three words for you: "dirty old man". two words: "jerk sheng". one word: "VERA!" wahaha.. just kidding la. you suck la. now then tell us you had your eye on a girl called clare?!?! you double suck. i remember the time you took picture of His Majesty. uuuuurrrrrgggghhh. @#$%^&*(!@#.. oh, and i really felt quite disturbed when you cried yesterday.. haha.
yux mama: Hey Mama, this that shit that make you groove, Mama, Get on the floor and move your booty, Mama.. haha sorry. lame, but i just couldnt help that. but anyway, hey, yux mama! you're the mother of a02, and hengqing our father. =) thanks for everything..the first person i saw yesterday was you, and I couldnt help smiling to myself.. i love you, yux!
vince: why you msg rhoda, never msg the rest of us!??!?! haha jk la. rj is swarming with hot ri hunks..haha! but dont worry, i wont get an ri boyfriend. i just married my smelly hamster the other day..
youkai: eh damn you lah, bluff me that your lit sucks! summore fool me into thinking i've found another literature-hopeless person like me who just bluffs her way thru lit.. haha.. i love your poem!!!! you still dare say your lit sucks?!?!?! huh!??!?!
emmi: chio and violent and barbaric on the outside and nice and soft like a marshmallow on the inside. you rock. =)
sam: another mama! i want to sing the "Hey Mama" song again.. haha.. thank you all ogls for making the first three months in nj so memorable and wonderful. i really mean it..i love you all loads.
Lots of love,
cassandra
